Blurry Days
by Gene49
Summary: Pain - mental or emotional suffering or torment. It's something nobody should have to go through. Same goes for Bella. But when Edward leaves, all he leaves her with is a pain they can never go away until he returns back to her.


**_BLURRY DAYS  
><em>**

**_Disclaimer One: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse...but I wish I did._**

**_Disclaimer Two: Pain - mental or emotional suffering or torment. It's something nobody should have to go through. Same goes for Bella. But when Edward leaves, all he leaves her with is a pain they can never go away until he returns back to her._**

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><p><em>Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock.<em>

_I lay there on the couch; flat on my stomach, face pressed against the cushions. And arm dangling off the couch lying on the floor limp next to me, watching the clock. I watched as each hand of the seconds slowly made its way around and around the clock until it looked as if they weren't moving at all. I concentrated mainly on the clock and nothing else. I don't let my mind wander nor did I let my feelings bubble for fear of the results in those happenings. It was strange, I had been looking at the clock for quite some time and yet I didn't even know the time. My eyes were out of focus for everything else but the hands. I focused back on to the clock and recognized that it was five thirty. The last time I recalled seeing was one forty - five. As I started to refocus in on everything I realized then that my stomach had been growling. I hadn't remembered eating lunch at all and now that I think about it, breakfast was a blur as well. I must have just spread the cereal around the edges of the bowl again. My appetite was lost in the past. Ever since...I stopped thinking again until I knew that I would be able to control my subconscious that was trying to pull forward and reveal distant memories that brought a pain beyond death and hell combined. This was how I spent most or all of my days. I stared at anomalous objects till I lose myself and all concept of time without becoming unconscious for dreams ruptured my sleep and every waking moment. _

_I slowly sat up letting the blood rush back into my head. I sat there wobbly for a bit till I regained complete circulation. I scratched my right side of my head - which I had been lying on - and attempted to comb my hair with my fingers, but found it futile when my fingers happened to get caught in a knot. I stood up and stumbled a little almost falling but quickly caught myself on the head of the chair and made my way into the kitchen to retrieve food that I would most likely not eat. _

_When I went into the kitchen my appetite had faded and I was no longer hungry. Instead I decided I would make Charlie his dinner. I would make two helpings as not to look too suspicious. But me not being hungry my helping would be smaller. I took out the peppers I had bought yesterday and started to dice them expertly. I then started to slice the potatoes, and season the meat. I expertly did everything but didn't enjoy preparing it. I retrieved carrots from the fridge and started to cut them into little circles. After everything was diced, cut, and washed I dumped them all in a large stew pot and added the broth. I turned up the stove and stirred. Dinner wouldn't be ready for a while and I didn't just want to stand there so I thought about doing the laundry. I grabbed the basket from the hallway and went into Charlie's room and picked up all the dirty clothes off the floor. I knew nothing was in my room so I didn't even bother entering. By the time I finished in Charlie's room the basket was already three - quarters of the way full. I slowly made my way down the stairs and into the laundry room. I dumped all the clothes on top of the machines and started to turn all the clothes right side out. It took me twenty minutes to put all the clothes in the washing machine and then another twenty to get all the clothes out from the dyer and fold them nicely. But whatever it took to keep me busy I did. When finished I placed all the clean clothes in the basket and brought them upstairs. I then began placing the clothes back in their respectful draws. Not realizing what time it was I heard the front door creak open. I placed the basket in the hall and proceeded down the stairs fixing myself properly to greet Charlie. _

_"Oh hiya Bells." Charlie said as I made my appearance. He seemed to be having trouble getting a knot out from his bootlaces. His hand was leaning up against the wall balancing himself as he tried to undo it himself. I knelt down in front of the boot and with my thin fingers undid it myself._

_"Bells, I'm not a two year old I can undo my own laces." he said jokingly. "I'm kidding, thank you." and he kissed the top of my head. I placed his shoes near the door and followed Charlie into the kitchen to continue my cooking. _

_"Mmm Bells, whatcha making?" he didn't really seem interested in what I was making; he just wanted to start up a normal conversation. I smiled a small fake smile that I always used and I knew he could see right through it._

_"I'm making stew, Charlie." I then began to stir the stew while Charlie kinda lingered in the kitchen undecided if he should stay or go. So I made the decision myself, the tension on the room was just too awkward to handle. _

_"You sure Bells? I could stay and keep you company." he said it with a tone that made me think me think he thought I was going to do something that would harm me. It sounded as if he NEEDED to stay with me and watch over me. _

_I turned my upper body towards him still stirring, S'ok Charlie, I'm fine. You go watch the game." I placed that fake smile on and went back to stirring. Charlie seemed a little hesitant but he finally went inside. He turned the T.V on but kept it on lower then usual. I ignored Charlie's worried behavior and concentrated on the stirring. I watched as everything went around and around the pot as I moved it. The carrots, the potatoes, the peppers, and the meat went in a circle. After I had my fill of stirring I let it cook and simmer. I went inside and sat on the chair while Charlie watched the game. Now that I was inside in tried not to be suspicious about raising the volume, but I noticed. I didn't really know what was going on in the game; I just stared at the T.V taking in nothing but the blaring noises the crowd made, and the cheers Charlie made when the team scored. Losing the time I heard the buzzer and it made me jump a little. I walked into the kitchen and pressed the off button and poured the stew into a big bowl. I then took I big bowl for Charlie and gave him his helping and for me I took all but a teacup size helping. I called Charlie in and he quickly came and sat down. He gobbled up all his food while I pushed mine off to the sides and mashed it into the broth to at least make it look as if I ate SOMETHING. Of course I ate some pieces of potatoes and carrots but nothing else. Charlie stopped eating at one point even though he still had food; he looked up at me as I played around with my food._

_"Bella," he stopped and looked back at his food. I looked up. "Yea?" I was a bit confused. He looked perplexed and worried. "I called your mother." he stopped and I just had a bewildered expression. "You called her!" I put my fork down and just stared Charlie down. "Bella, you're not the same and I think that if your mother came over you could talk to her." I was shocked, it was the first true feeling I had in a while. "When is she coming?" I crossed my arms. "Monday." That was three days from now. "She'll be sleeping in your room on the cot I keep in the closet." "Charlie you didn't need to call mom. I'm fine." And we both knew that that was a lie. _

_Dinner was quiet after that and I went to bed wondering what would happen when mom came._


End file.
